Man Suffocated by iPhone on his Way to Buy Coveted Device

(MFM) New York City, NY—Harold Myers was making a pilgrimage from Philadelphia to the Apple store on 5th Avenue today when the iPhone hype consumed all the oxygen in the immediate area. Several other shoppers in front of the Apple store were also injured and taken to nearby emergency rooms.

"I don't think he should have walked under Bono's nearby penthouse window on his way here. I'm sure it weakened him." said Felicity Harding, a local iPhone pilgrim. "Everyone knows when Bono is in town, it gets hard to breathe on a normal day here."

Myers, a 29-year-old bachelor, had just sold his classic Apple Newton MessagePad 110 on Craig's List to get the money to buy a 4GB iPhone. "He was really looking forward to making a fresh start with the iPhone." sobbed his mother and landlord.

With the weeks old media storm cresting, some iPhone campers expected a tragedy like this might happen. A few had oxygen masks packed just in case a celebrity like Bill Clinton showed up to get an iPhone at the peak of the hype. "Clinton's been a bit of a media whore lately. You can never be too safe…too safe…" mumbled local Neil Logan as he rummaged through his Wi-Fi equipped push cart.

A spokesperson from Apple, Inc. said they regretted the incident. "We never anticipated the hype reaching this level. It has now moved beyond our control, I'm afraid." She did note that the company will be sending an 8GB iPhone to Myers' family.



OK, OK, enough with the satire. Predictably, there hasn't been much Mac news to report on this week. Go ahead and enjoy the iPhone launch. Events like this don't come around all the time for us Apple fans. We'll be trying to get one too, come Friday at 6. We have to test My First Mac on an iPhone of course, right? Right?

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Your Comments:

It's not satire, satire is funny.

 A
 06/28/2007  at  09:38 AM

"A" you are funny with that comment. My family is afraid of going to Apple store as they tell me that it can be very dangerous as like PS3's launch.

 Umair R.
 06/28/2007  at  10:02 AM

Love the satire and it's funny! You should send it to the Onion.

 Jo Ann
 06/29/2007  at  05:52 PM

Its very funny.. I hope that you have bought one by now.

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 omMiSh45
 02/08/2008  at  12:44 PM

Revenge of the nerds....

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 john
 02/08/2008  at  05:33 PM